Living with migraines, depression, and anxiety often means “missing out” on life. It means you can only do so much, and you have to pick and choose what to spend your efforts on that day or week until you are tapped out. This means “lost opportunities” and letting down family, friends, and work associates. Sometimes it means choosing to do an activity anyway, knowing that you will suffer later.
As my medical conditions grew out of control, I began to have many “missed opportunities”. Movies were too loud, even while wearing earplugs. Concerts were out of the question because they are full of triggers such as noise, lights, and strong odors from smoke and fog. I stopped volunteering because I became unreliable due to unstable health. Being with certain people was challenging regarding scents and smells. For example, a friend or co-worker wearing strong or disagreeable scents could cause migraines. One of the most painful “missed opportunities” was being unable to make it to a loved one’s funeral because I was too sick to make the long trip.
When I was feeling well enough to be active, there were still “missed opportunities” because often I wasn’t fully present. It was hard to focus on anything but migraine pain, and it just wasn’t enjoyable anyway because the dark cloud of depression shut out all that was good and light.
The result of “missing out” is loneliness. Being lonely and isolated leads to more depression. Augh! It is a vicious cycle. Living with migraines is difficult but adding in mental health issues exacerbates the problem. This vicious cycle is debilitating and causes a loss of hope.
But there is always hope. Hope of a new breakthrough medication or treatment. Hope from friends and family who will come along beside you and lift you up. And mostly, hope given from above. I remain hopeful I will no longer have to live a life of missed opportunities.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or crisis helpline immediately. There is help available, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Emergency: Call 911
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Online Chat: suicidepreventionlifeline.org