When I think back on my journey toward better mental health and wellbeing, the path I’ve traveled hasn’t always been easy or straightforward. It’s a deeply personal experience filled with ups and downs, and it has taken me a lot of time and self-compassion to come to the point where I understand how to care for my mental and emotional health. Along the way, I’ve learned valuable lessons that have fundamentally changed the way I approach not just my mental health, but my entire life. In this blog post, I want to share these lessons in the hopes that they might resonate with others who are walking their own path toward healing.
1. I Have to Take Care of Myself So I Can Then In Turn Take Care of Others to My Best Ability
As someone who has always felt the weight of responsibility for others, this lesson took me a long time to fully grasp. For the longest time, I thought that taking care of myself was selfish—that my role was to put others’ needs ahead of my own, and that was how I could prove my value and worth. I learned the hard way that this mindset is unsustainable, and not only does it diminish my ability to show up for others, but it also deteriorates my own mental and emotional wellbeing.
The simple truth is that we cannot pour from an empty cup. This analogy has been a guiding principle for me over the years. When I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and not functioning at my best, I cannot possibly give others what they need from me. Whether it’s my partner, family, or friends, the quality of care I provide for them is a direct reflection of how well I’m taking care of myself.
What does this mean in practice? It means prioritizing my mental health with the same care and attention I give to the people I love. It means saying “no” when I need to, recognizing when I’m reaching my limits, and allowing myself to step back and recharge without feeling guilty about it. This is something I still have to remind myself of, but I’ve seen how much better my relationships and overall sense of purpose have become when I’m functioning at my best. Taking care of myself is not just a personal necessity; it’s also an investment in the wellbeing of those around me.
2. It Is Brave and Courageous to Ask for Help
There was a time when I saw asking for help as a sign of weakness. I thought that if I admitted I was struggling, it meant I was somehow failing. I now realize that the exact opposite is true. Asking for help, whether it’s from a therapist, a friend, or a family member, is one of the most courageous things we can do when we’re in pain.
Acknowledging that we can’t always do it alone is an act of strength, not weakness. For me, asking for help has been a pivotal part of my mental health journey. Therapy has been an integral part of my healing process, giving me the tools and insights I need to better understand myself and navigate difficult times. I’ve also learned to reach out to friends and loved ones when I’m feeling low instead of isolating myself, which was my old coping mechanism.
It’s important to break the stigma around seeking help, particularly for mental health issues. Society sometimes promotes the idea that we should all “tough it out” or “get over it,” but that mindset only leads to more suffering. By asking for help, we are showing up for ourselves in the most authentic way possible. It is brave to admit that we’re not okay and to open ourselves up to the support that can lead to real healing.
3. It Is Okay to Set Boundaries
For a long time, I struggled with setting boundaries, especially with people I cared about. I thought that saying “no” or drawing a line meant that I was being unkind or ungrateful. But as I’ve grown in my mental health journey, I’ve realized that boundaries are not just necessary—they are healthy.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean that I don’t care about others; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. By setting boundaries, I’m creating a clear understanding of what I need to protect my mental health while also respecting the needs and limits of others. This was especially crucial as I began to recover from the burnout that had resulted from overextending myself in every area of life—socially, professionally, and emotionally.
Boundaries help create structure in our lives and provide us with the emotional space we need to thrive. Whether it’s choosing not to answer work emails on the weekend, saying “no” to an event when I need rest, or setting limits in relationships, I’ve learned that boundaries are an essential part of self-care. It’s not only okay to set boundaries; it’s a necessary component of a healthy, balanced life.
4. A Healthy Amount of Sleep Is One of the Best Ways I Can Take Care of Myself
Sleep is often overlooked as a key part of mental health, but it’s something I’ve come to view as essential to my overall wellbeing. For years, I either undervalued sleep or couldn’t seem to get enough of it, swinging from sleepless nights to overextended naps that left me feeling groggy and out of sorts.
Through trial and error, I discovered that sleep is one of the best ways to restore and regulate my mental health. Everyone has their own “sweet spot” for how much sleep they need, and finding mine was crucial. For me, that range is about 7 to 8 hours per night. When I get too little, I’m irritable, anxious, and unfocused. When I oversleep, I feel sluggish and disconnected from the day.
Understanding my body’s needs and respecting its rhythms was a game-changer for my mental health. Sleep is the foundation upon which so much of my emotional regulation and energy is built. By ensuring that I get enough rest, I’m giving my body and mind the tools they need to function at their best.
5. It Is Okay to Take It Easy on Rough Days and Do More on Good Days
One of the most liberating lessons I’ve learned on this journey is that it’s okay to have rough days. There are times when my anxiety, depression, or physical health makes it impossible to function at full capacity, and in the past, I would push through it, thinking that anything less than 100% was a failure. But over time, I’ve learned that taking it easy on those tough days is not just okay—it’s necessary.
On days when I’m feeling especially low or overwhelmed, I give myself permission to do less. I take breaks, rest more, and engage in activities that nourish my mental health, like meditation, journaling, or simply sitting quietly with my thoughts. Allowing myself to have these slower, more introspective days gives me the energy I need to thrive when I feel better.
On the flip side, when I have good days—when my energy is high and my mental state is strong—I take full advantage of that and accomplish more. The key is learning to ride the waves of my mental health instead of resisting them. I’ve come to understand that not every day needs to be productive in the same way, and that’s okay. By honoring both the good days and the rough ones, I’m creating a more sustainable and balanced approach to life.
6. Healing Is Not Linear
This is perhaps the most important lesson I’ve learned on my mental health journey: healing is not a straight line. There are days, weeks, even months when it feels like I’m making incredible progress. My mood is stable, my anxiety is manageable, and I feel like I’m on top of the world. But then, out of nowhere, I hit a low point—a day when everything feels harder, darker, and hopeless.
In the past, these setbacks would devastate me. I would spiral into negative thinking, convincing myself that I hadn’t really made any progress, that I was stuck, and that I would never get better. But over time, I’ve come to understand that healing doesn’t follow a predictable path. There will always be highs and lows, progress and setbacks.
What matters is not letting the low points define the entire journey. Each time I find myself struggling, I remind myself of how far I’ve come, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. The very fact that I can recognize the setback and work through it with more self-compassion and patience is a sign of growth in itself.
I’ve also learned that the setbacks are often where the most profound growth happens. When I’m faced with a difficult period, it forces me to dig deeper, to use the tools I’ve learned in therapy, and to be kinder to myself than I ever thought possible. Healing may not be linear, but that doesn’t mean I’m not healing. It’s just a more complex and nuanced process than I originally expected.
Final Thoughts
My mental health journey has been filled with challenges, but it has also been a source of incredible strength and resilience. The lessons I’ve learned—about self-care, boundaries, sleep, and the nonlinear nature of healing—have not only helped me manage my mental health but have also given me a deeper understanding of who I am and what I need to thrive.
If there’s one message I hope to impart through sharing my experiences, it’s this: be kind to yourself. Healing takes time, patience, and a willingness to embrace both the good days and the bad. We are all doing the best we can with the tools we have, and each step forward—no matter how small—is a victory worth celebrating.
For those of you walking your own path toward wellbeing, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to ask for help, to set boundaries, to rest when you need to, and to take things one day at a time. Healing is a journey, not a destination, and every part of that journey matters.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or crisis helpline immediately. There is help available, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Emergency: Call 911
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Online Chat: suicidepreventionlifeline.org